I can’t quite process that the wedding is on Saturday (and everything needs to be done and ready by friday). Finding joy in being a bride to be is a challenge when I’m no longer a mother to be as well. Stranger in a strange land. Wound up talking to some woman in the wedding aisle at Michael’s. She was shopping for last minute wedding things too. I managed not to blurt out anything about the baby to anyone today (though when I ran into a coworker he had heard and offered sympathies, which was sweet but I still wound up feeling like there’s no where I can escape the pain).

I’m hoping I can put down the pain again and just celebrate this marriage. It doesn’t mean any less to me because Isaac is gone; in fact, it means all the more. We’ve drawn so tightly together to survive this that we’re all the stronger for it. But still…buying a “slimming” body shaper, when i thought this week i’d be buying something to enhance the belly…

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